


Our Decisions Haunt Us

by JustSmileStuffHappens (ksz13)



Series: Buddie / 9-1-1 Prompt Fills [40]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Accidents, Bruises, Fighting, Fights, Flashbacks, Gen, Guilt, Injury, Lies, M/M, Ocean, Pier, Post-Lawsuit (9-1-1 TV), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Post-Tsunami (9-1-1), Post-lawsuit, Reconciliation, Regret, Role Reversal, Sea, Street fighting, Tsunami (9-1-1 TV), Water, lawsuit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-13
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:27:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24166597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ksz13/pseuds/JustSmileStuffHappens
Summary: Prompt: After the lawsuit things are bad and Buck feels so isolated and unhappy. He is finally allowed out on a call by the ocean but all throughout Eddie is just plain mean towards him. Buck still tries to help Eddie but they get tangled in a hose or something and go flying over the railing into the water! It is thankfully not deep and Eddie set to give Buck hell when he actually sees his face. Buck is terrified and starts screaming for Chris. Eddie holds Buck and tries to get through to him.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan “Buck” Buckley & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Series: Buddie / 9-1-1 Prompt Fills [40]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1582147
Comments: 4
Kudos: 268





	Our Decisions Haunt Us

**Author's Note:**

> I'll still be taking prompts. They're coming out slowly but surely. If I can do them then I'll try my best but some just don't click for me at times.
> 
> "UNO Reverse!"

**_Our Decisions Haunt Us_ **

Buck knew coming back wouldn't be easy. But he didn't expect this.

He earned his spot back. He could still do what he'd done before he just had to be careful for a while.

Knowing that didn't lessen the burn or should he say chill of the others.

Bobby couldn't keep him in the firehouse forever right? He'd already done all his duties. What more was left for him here?

Eddie was a different story altogether though. He was either silent or scathing no middle ground.

But today was Buck's second day back on duty. The shift before was calm with a regular house fire, well as regular as they were for them.

Buck entered to greet the others catching Hen who was retelling to the others how her and Chim had managed to save two people with entirely different cases on the same call recently unexpectedly.

Buck heard the tail end of it as Hen spotted him.

"And now one of our resident badasses has arrived." She laughed. 

Buck smiled but shook his head. The praise was welcome but he didn't want it. He fought through it all to get back. This was enough. 

With that the others dispersing as they gave Buck greetings he saw Eddie who was on the punching bag now. Buck wouldn't stop trying.

He walked up to Eddie. "Need a spot?"

"You don't usually spot a punching bag. Unless you want to hold it. I don't think that's a good idea." His tone was flat. 

He sounded calm at least but like he didn't care for either option. 

"If you were in my spot- what would you do?" Buck asked. 

He knew he might not get an answer. But it was worth a shot. 

"I'd try to look at all my options. Maybe give a heads up." Eddie hit the bag. "Not blindside people."

Which sure but it's easier said than done. Buck saw that now but hindsight is 20/20 though. 

"I needed to be back."

"You needed to finish healing up and wait it out."

"I have been. You all didn't wait to replace me so why should I h-"

The alarm cut off Buck.

He was the first on the truck as Eddie slipped on his uniform shirt and grabbed his turnout gear.

Hen and chim made it back down into the ambulance before Eddie hopped in the truck with the others. 

"Alright. We've got a possible concussion on the pier. People saw a ride worker being hit by a seat. The mechanism was stopped to release the passengers but it's smoking so we're gonna access the situation." Bobby informed them while another firefighter drove.

A small part of Buck felt anxious returning there but it wasn't that day. The tsunami was a fluke that had less than 10% chance of happening again so soon.

He didn't let it slip past his face as he nodded with his fists closed.

Eddie kept a watchful eye on him. Buck couldn't tell whether it was out of spite or concern. Probably the former with how earlier went. 

The woman didn't have a concussion as noticed when Hen was treating her with Chim while the others inspected the ride. Her head was fine, she fainted but others assumed what happened. 

Small sparks had started to fly even with the power off as they were looking at it giving some alarm.

"Cap!" Buck said beside Eddie.

"Matt, Eva, get the crowd back. Eddie, you and Buck are on the hose. Double time." Bobby ordered while going to assist the other pair.

"Hurry up Buck. You gotta keep up." Eddie shot off as they got the hose. 

It was a small fire when it did ignite. With little effort it was out though.

The crowd cheered as the worker woke before being checked and let go. She was still advised to go to the hospital if anything else happened or she felt off. 

Again that there was another roar as the fire was put out. Neither of the men acknowledged it past a nod. It was the best Buck could ask for, at least that's what he felt.

The crew was making sure there were no more injured and the ride was then cordoned off with the pier management's help.

Buck and Eddie were working silently in sync to pack it all in. The hose was starting to come along when they heard a shout. 

Eddie turned in the direction Buck was facing. Coming closer was a man in a mask carrying something.

Eddie was going to intervene when Buck noticed they had a knife too.

"Eddie, look out! They've got a weapon." They never got a chance to do anything to stop them as suddenly Eddie lost his footing. 

Buck got up to try helping him catch his balance using the railing to support them both when they heard the crack and then bending too.

In the next second they were plummeting over the side. 

Buck instantly worked to get Eddie's foot free. Without it he'd have a harder time swimming.

It wasn't off as Buck barely got it looser before they breached.

He hadn't been able to ease his impact and neither had Eddie in the short amount of time they had.

Everything went sideways then. It felt like he was in a washer.

Eddie was right beside him. But where was Christopher? He was right behind Buck. Right?

Buck turned in the water looking, searching, praying. He had to be nearby. He had to find-

Something was around his middle, squeezing the life out of him painfully as he was moved upward.

"You dumbass. You could have got us k-" Eddie said but Buck heard none of it past the loud blue ahead.

"Chris! Make some noise buddy. Please! I'm coming." Buck fought to get out of whoever's hold was preventing him from getting Chris.

Eddie paused at that. Buck wasn't-

"He's 9 years old! Let me go! He needs me. Please. I've gotta find him! I'm a firefighter! I have to save him!" Buck was about to dive again into the water they were treading. Even with Eddie's arm around him.

"Buck. Stop! It's me. It's Eddie! Christopher's at school. He's safe. Stop fighting. We need to get to the shore." Eddie held onto him to keep him from going under again. It hurt.

Buck was a natural swimmer and trained too with a lot of strength he'd built over the years. But if he wasn't all there Eddie needed to keep them both afloat. Even if that meant fighting Buck to save him.

"Eddie?! Shit." Buck was back as his memories came crashing in.

A fire on the pier. Eddie trying to stop a thief. Falling over together.

"Can you swim?" Eddie asked.

"Yeah. I'm good." Buck replied.

"Alright. Let's go. We've gotta regroup." Eddie started swimming making sure Buck was close beside him. 

They made it to the shore, minus their hose obviously. They were so damn cold when they got out.

The others were coming down as Eddie started to check Buck and himself over for injuries already.

"I'm sorry- Eddie, I didn't m-. "

"It's okay Buck. I know. Just let me make sure you're not bleeding." Eddie continued. 

Eddie was stripping off Bucks soaked coat and lifting his shirt, his sleeves and pant legs. Nothing.

Buck didn't have a scratch on him thankfully but the bruising spoke for how hard they'd hit. Eddie no doubt would have his own just less noticeable outside of the oth- Fuck.

"Boys!" "Buck!" "Eddie!" Bobby came followed by Chim and Hen.

They had shock blankets and towels ready for them.

"We look away one second and you two are just gone like Houdini's. What happened?" Hen said.

"Did the mugger push you two over?" Bobby asked.

"Buck! Any cuts. I've got the med bag ready bud." Chim came over.

"He's good. Bruised but okay. I'm fine." Eddie lied.

"We'll be the judge of that. Open your sleeves Eddie. You know protocol." Bobby said.

"Did they catch the mugger?" Buck asked.

"An officer got them with a taser. We saw them before we noticed you'd gone over." Chim said double checking Buck again.

One small cut could persist until they found it so he had to be sure.

"Eddie?" Hen said while he finally lifted his shirt. "Did you get jumped?!" She asked while viewing the bruise variation. The larger more spread out had just happened but other patterns weren't from an impact to the water's surface. They were varying sizes and shades. "What the fuck happened to you?"

"Christopher-"

"Wouldn't hurt a damn spider, and you know it. Who did this Eddie? When did you get hurt?" Buck was in shock at the sight. How? 

He'd seen exactly one bruise before but had to chalk it up to him missing a call what with Eddie's avoidance. But now. No way in hell this was from work.

"I was mugged. I didn't want to report it, because it hurt my pride." Eddie said formulating a story.

"You came into work like this Eddie? If you're injured I have to know as your captain. If something went down and you were unconscious we'd need to be in the know of your condition." Bobby said while Hen noted how many. 

"I'm not injured. I can work fine." Eddie said back hissing at Hen's hand inspecting his ribs.

"Your bruising says different. Your right ribs are definitely fractured, two of them at least." Hen noted. "And this bruising, you're lying. They're from different time periods, some are healing now. Were ya mugged on different days, huh?"

"What happened to needing to be 100% for work Eddie?" Buck asked as everyone went silent.

Eddie couldn't or wouldn't reply. 

The others ushered the boys towards the truck and ambulance.

"We've gotta get you two top-side." Chim said with the others agreeing.

"You have until I get to the hospital Eddie. I need to know by then or I'll be forced to suspend you until you get doctor approval. One way or another," Bobby said while the pair shook in the blankets.

It felt like when they fell over and hit the water the entire world had flipped. Up was down. Hot was cold.

Eddie was lying and he was hurt. He had been lying about being hurt.

Buck should have pushed harder. He could have talked to him sooner and maybe found out what happened. If Eddie was in some sort of trouble he'd want to help. But maybe this is what Buck got though, he turns his back for a second and something happens.

"You're a hypocrite." Buck whispered, not looking at him. 

Chim barely heard a bit unclearly over the sound of them moving the blankets and breaking heat pads.

"Did you say something Buck?" Hen asked having seen his lips move. 

"No. Just thinking about a mistake." Which wasn't a lie. He'd made plenty and it seemed like one too many if it could have stopped him from helping his closest friend.

The ride passed with groaning from both of them and the decreasing clatter of teeth plus the reading off of their vitals.

They were admitted as Bobby instead returned with the others setting up the alternates and finishing the shift. 

Hen and Chim promised to return with Bobby after they were done if they could. 

Buck and Eddie were left alone to be treated after admittance. They were on waiting room beds.

Buck couldn't help sneaking glances as Eddie looked to be deep in thought and hardly moving.

"I know what you're thinking. Just say it Buck." Eddie said.

"I- I'm sorry. Something happened. I wasn't there to talk to for whatever it was." Buck failed Eddie, again.

" You're 'sorry', it's always about you."

"Well right now it's about you, okay? You're injured and if it were me Bobby would bite my head off. We can't help you, I can't help you, since we didn't talk, so I'm apologizing. But you've gotta tell someone, it doesn't have to be me. At least tell Bobby, please Eddie. Speaking as your ex-best friend and caring about what happens to you and Christopher, what if he saw you like this?" Buck swallowed his emotions.

"It's hard to see with you not around."

"I know. I'm trying to fix that, but I don't want to force your forgiveness Eddie, I'll wait and earn it, how I'm supposed to." Buck said. 

"No. It's hard to see clearly with you gone. You left and things were shit."

"I didn't mean to leave. I- I guess it looked like that, but I would have dropped it sooner, had you ne- I didn't want to stay away but those words got in my head. I didn't want money, I wanted you and the team, I wanted my job and life back."

"I was st-"

"Mr. Buckley, I'm Dr. Grace. We'll be looking at you first. With your medications it's imperative that we make sure you're okay physically. Mr. Diaz, my colleague Dr. Silva will be with you shortly." 

Just like that the conversation was dead. Buck took a final glance as he was led away to change. 

At least Eddie couldn't leave without also seeing Bobby. But he'd been so close. If they just had more time, Buck would have heard Eddie.

He changed and they took his clothes for now. With bloodwork and x-rays then a ct scan Buck was so done with hospitals.

No matter how many times he'd been in or for how long Buck was still scared, and bored. 

The look on Eddie's face was calmer just before he was about to say it. That and the bruising across his body alternated as flashing images in Buck's mind battling for his attention. 

"Mr. Buckley. Sorry to keep you waiting. All your results are in. No internal bleeding to speak of. But you have bruised ribs and you'll need to keep a brace on your wrist that took more of the fall for a few days. You'll heal though. You can return to work in less than a week along with your colleague" Dr. Grace said.

"Eddie's done?!" Buck asked.

"He's been checked, yes. He's in the waiting room. I believe your captain is here to pick you both up."

Buck was already moving. 

"Mr. Buckley! Slow down, get out of the hospital safely." She said.

Buck came out with his stuff in a bag as he was in sweats now.

Eddie was in similar attire as they would get their gear in a minute before they left. 

"Buck. Calm down kid." Bobby said.

"How long have you been out?" Buck asked Eddie. 

"He's been out for all of ten minutes. We were waiting on you. Let's get back to the station." 

Buck didn't know how to broach the subject again. Maybe his chance was gone. But hopefully Eddie would see that he needed to talk even if it wasn't to him. 

Eddie took the passenger seat as Buck got in the back.

The ride was uncomfortably silent. 

"Alright. Eddie, the office. Captain Green knows I need it. Buck, go home. We'll see you in a few days. Rest up, okay?" Bobby said.

Buck opened his mouth but nothing came out. "Ed-"

"It's okay Buck. Go home." Eddie nodded before following Bobby.

Buck couldn't join them. It wasn't his place. He'd missed his chance.

But it felt like Eddie was ready to talk now. Not that he had a choice.

Buck turned his back again. This time it hurt worse. He had to have faith in both Bobby and Eddie.

* * *

He got home to Maddie checking in after her shift. She's seen the news.

And wasn't that great? More people seeing his humiliating failures. 

"I'm glad you're okay. Eddie was too?"

"Yeah. Mostly. Did you eat yet?"

"No. I was gonna offer to buy dinner. Got any ideas?"

"Yeah. Thanks."

They ordered specialty burgers and onion rings. But it didn't completely help with Buck's thoughts.

"You okay?" Maddie asked.

"Yeah. I'm just tired. Thanks for dinner."

With Maddie gone, Buck could mull it over in his head without fear of letting it out.

He hurt Christopher, he hurt Eddie too maybe, and then this happened. Bobby was no different with Hen too having skeletons dragged up.

It was all so stupid and useless. He didn't get what he wanted from his own actions. Bobby finally folded and had his "my house my rules" speech. 

There was a knock.

"Did you forget something?" Buck asked, going to open the door for Maddie. 

It opened by itself.

"Something like that." Eddie said. 

"Eddie."

"Can we talk?" Eddie asked.

"Yeah. Sure." Buck nodded. "Christopher?"

"Carla's watching him a lot longer and I told her I needed to do one errand before I came home."

"So- you told Bobby?"

"Yeah. I kinda had to when lying could get an innocent person in jail and I know that sucks."

"You were talking from experience. Why did you-?"

"Assault and Battery" Eddie said.

"You beat someone up? They fought back?" Buck was confused.

"No."

"I don't get it. How did you get hurt if you got arrested and they didn't?"

"I was street fighting."

"What?"

"Fighting strangers in the junk-"

"No. I know what that is? Why? Was it about- because of-" Buck couldn't finish, he was scared to.

"Not entirely."

"So it's just partially my fault."

"No. You didn't make me fight. I chose to."

"And I couldn't stop you."

"You wouldn't have been able to even if we were talking then." 

"I could have tried. I shouldn't hav-"

"Look Buck. The reason I'm telling you is because eventually the others will know. From Bobby or me. But I thought you should hear it from me, you deserve that much." Eddie said his arms still crossed.

"So you're stopping?"

"Gonna try to. It's- it's like a drug."

"Like an adrenaline high." Buck tried to understand. 

"Now that the others will know, now that you know. I don't plan on repeating that, it was a mistake. But one I made, for my own reasons. The same as you with the lawsuit." Eddie said, looking at Buck.

He dropped his arms to his sides and clenched them before lessening them with a sigh.

"We can both be idiots." Buck breathed out with his eyes closed.

"I guess that's why we get along."

"Next time. Lawsuit or not, please call. I would have answered. You could've been-" Buck faltered.

"I think a part of me knew. I just refused. It hurt feeling like you pulled away. I guess, that's how you felt when you saw us."

"If you or Christopher need anything. Anything. Tell me, I, I'll fight for you guys. I just- i went about it in a different way before."

"I know that now. I'm sorry for being like that when you came back. I knew you'd notice or I might slip up. And I couldn't risk that. Out in the water. You were back there?"

"Yeah. It- it took me by surprise. That hasn't happened before. I need to tell Bobby. But I'll let him sleep for now."

"That wasn't your fault."

"Knowing that and feeling that it aren't the same or easy."

"He said I needed counseling. Maybe you should see the shrink again. I had to after-" Eddie stopped.

"I- i don't know about that. I'll talk to him about it. And Eddie-" Buck came surging forward.

He knew logically he couldn't hug Eddie tightly but Buck wanted to.

It hurt Buck as Eddie returned the hug back.

"Not a smart decision. But- sorry if it hurt."

"Nah. It hurt. But thanks. It's not a roundhouse so I'm good."

Buck made a face and shook his head at hearing that. 

"Too soon?" Eddie smirked.

"By at least a week, maybe two." Buck said. "Go home, Christopher's waiting for a good night kiss and Carla needs a break."

"I'll call before I bring him by tomorrow. Make sure you're out of bed and dressed." Eddie joked.

"I'll see you then. Bye Eddie."

"Good night Buck. " Eddie patted Buck's arm before turning to leave.

Buck stood still as Eddie closed the door and left.

They had a friendship to rebuild. It'd be stronger. Buck knew it. Felt it.


End file.
